THINK AND GROW RICH
One of the greatest books ever written on success is THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. See the video about it at the following link. If you think you would like to have a copy of the book and would be anxious to read it you have the option of going to a good bookshop and buy a copy. If you have searched and not found it, I can still help you. What you need to do is to proceed to the website at the following link. You can read the book there in full text. If you still have a problem tell me in the COMMENTS and I will email you a copy at your email address
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HOW TO USE YOUR SUPER POWER FOR GOOD
I folded my bike and carried it into the lobby of the office building in midtown Manhattan. The security guard behind the desk looked up at me, grimaced, then looked down again and growled something indecipherable.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
He sighed loudly and didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, without bothering to look at me, he said, “You’re not coming in here with that.”
I was already jittery because of a near miss with a taxi on the ride over, and this deflated me even more. It wasn’t his message — I’ve faced many security guards who don’t like to permit bicycles into their buildings — it was his cold, disdainful tone.
I tried to stay calm and upbeat. I showed him how small it was, folded. I told him I had a bag I could put it in. He repeated the same line.
Finally, after citing the The Bicycle Access to Office Buildings Law, which requires New York City buildings with freight elevators to admit bicycles, he let me in.
When I made it to the freight elevator, I smiled at the operator who was joking with some construction workers. He looked at me then looked back at his friends and kept talking. I waited uncomfortably for several minutes, and then asked him if he would take me to the 19th floor. He said something rude to his friends about tenants, took me up in silence, and left me in a small vestibule with a locked door but no clear way to enter.
He shut his door as I was asking him how to get in. “Try pushing the button,” he barked through the closed elevator door. I saw the button he meant and pushed. At this point I was feeling lower than low.
Then, like magic, my morning changed.
“Hi! You must be Peter. Welcome!” Lisa*, the receptionist, sang as she opened the door. She smiled, and then looked worried. “Why did you come up in the freight?”
I explained my morning and she frowned empathetically. “I’m so sorry, That’s terrible. Here, let me take your bike.”
I could have cried from happiness. In one second, Lisa turned my emotions around, from the negative spiral of anger, frustration, and despair to the positive spiral of relief, appreciation, and happiness.
And that’s when I realized: We all have super powers.
We can make people feel good or bad by as simple a thing as a gesture, an expression, a word, or a tone of voice.
But wait. Can I really blame my grumpiness on you? Isn’t each person responsible for his or her own mood?
Here’s what we know: Like the common cold, emotions are contagious. Caroline Bartel at New York University and Richard Saavedra at the University of Michigan studied 70 work groups across a variety of industries and found that people who worked together ended up sharing moods, good and bad. Moods converge.
This is particularly important to understand for people in positions of authority because leaders, more than anyone, set and spread the mood. If you’ve ever worked in an office, you know this from experience. If the boss is in a bad mood, conflicts increase. If she’s in a good mood, people lighten up.
Does that mean we aren’t responsible if we snap at someone in the hallway? That it’s really the fault of the guy who bumped into us on the subway and didn’t apologize?
Look at it this way: If you catch a cold from someone, does that mean you can go around sneezing on everyone else? You might be able to blame your mood on someone else, but you’re still responsible for what you pass to others.
Nevertheless, it’s hard to completely avoid infecting others when you have a cold. Several years ago I was asked to coach Renée, a senior manager in a retail company, who was receiving feedback that she was too harsh with her employees. She often raised her voice, criticized them mercilessly for mistakes, and humiliated them for not knowing things.
When I spoke to others in the office, I found out that the CEO to whom Renée reported treated his direct reports the same way. He was short-tempered, yelled a lot, and demanded perfection from others.
That didn’t make it okay for Renée to treat her direct reports that way; it just made it harder for her not to.
Which is a problem for the business because mood affects performance. According to research done by Sigal Barsade at Yale University, positive moods improved cooperation, decreased conflict, and increased performance.
So what’s the solution?
Know your emotions, be in touch with your moods, and think of them like the common cold. If you feel infected by bad cheer, take a deep breath, recognize how you’re feeling, and choose not to pass it on.
Instead, treat people with the empathy, care, and good humor that will make them feel happier, more connected, and more productive.
Here’s the good news: Barsade’s research found that positive moods are just as contagious as negative moods.
Is it really a choice though? If you’re in a bad mood, can you decide to be happy? I find it hard, inauthentic, even dishonest, to do feign happiness.
But I have found a pretty simple solution to turning it all around: Kindness.
No matter how bad a mood I’m in, I’ve found it pretty straightforward to treat others with kindness. And that, invariably, has a positive affect on those around me, which, as we’ve seen, has a positive affect on me. And, voilà, my mood changes for the better.
When Lisa brought me to my client’s office, I told him how my ugly morning had been turned around by his delightful receptionist. He responded with a story of his own. Once, when Lisa was sick and couldn’t come to work, a quiet and reserved man named Frank, acted as receptionist for the day. Frank was not the sing-song type.
But he was used to Lisa’s good cheer. Each morning, like everyone else in the office, he received her buoyant emails welcoming people to the office. And, on this particular day, when he was asked to fill in for Lisa, the mere memory of her lighthearted emotions was enough to influence Frank.
First thing that morning, on his own initiative, Frank wrote an email to the whole office that read: “It’s Pizzaaaaaaa for lunch! I hope everybody has a Happy Day!!!!!!”
We use our best with customers and neighbors and treat our own employees like dirt and our spouses even worse. With your advice we could make these places a proper home and work home. Thanks for the motivating thought
Reproduced from HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW BLOG
Peter Bregman is a strategic advisor to CEOs and their leadership teams. His latest book is 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done.
DO NOT LET THE PAST SHAPE YOUR FUTURE
Most of the events of your life have been shaped by your thoughts, attitude and expectations. If your life doesn’t change and doesn’t improve, it means that you are not changing your thoughts, attitude and expectations. It is like playing the same movie in your mind, over and again, and enacting it in your real life, time and again.
There is no reason to cling to thoughts, beliefs, attitude and expectations. You can change them if you really want. If you change them, you will start seeing life in a different way, acting in a different way, and consequently, changing the events and situations in your life.
Even if circumstances do not change, or cannot be changed, your attitude would be different, and therefore, the impact of circumstances on you would be different, milder, or even non-existent.
If your thoughts have always been negative, and you keep repeating them, how do you expect to improve your life?
Don’t let the past shape your future.
Your past thoughts created your present, but there is no need to repeat these thoughts. You can think other thoughts. You can think of what you want, irrespective of your current situation.
If you start thinking about success, instead of thinking about failure, and keep this way of thinking, in time, these thoughts would affect your life. What you think in the present, would change your future.
Think about success and expect success, and you will be aware of opportunities, which you usually do not see now.
Learn to be peaceful inside you, and you won’t be troubled by external situations or circumstances, even if you cannot change them..
Have faith in yourself, and you will be in a better position to handle the affairs of your life. Think different thoughts, from those you are used to think. Those different, positive thoughts, about a better life, will sooner or later start affecting the present circumstances and situations of your life, and shape for you, a different, better future.
Live in the present moment, not in the past. The past is past. Don’t let it affect your present thoughts and feelings and the situations of your future. Make the effort of reminding you to think positive thoughts, and have faith in yourself that you can do so. This might seem difficult, especially if your thoughts have always been negative, and you always expected the problems of the past to continue into the present.
Live in the present moment, creating new thoughts, and new expectations, not only about money, work or relationships, but also about health, happiness, and spirituality. These new thoughts, which you think in the present, would mold your future.
Notice what thought you are thinking at this moment:
Are they negative or positive?
Are they new thoughts, or thoughts you usually think?
Are they about problems and difficulties, or about a better future?
Thoughts often awake certain with feelings, and these feeling have a powerful impact on your subconscious mind, and on the way you behave and act. This means that it is not enough to change your thoughts, but it is also important to change the feelings associated with them. How you can do so, through affirmations, visualization, willpower and meditation.
The past has a great power on everyone, and is responsible for the present situations in one’s life. By being conscious of your present thoughts and feelings, you shape your future. By being more aware of your thoughts, and aware of the feelings associated with them, you can start rejecting the thoughts and feelings that have been shaping your life in a negative way. By choosing your thoughts and feelings, and by thinking and feeling in a more positive and constructive way, even if your past and present are unhappy or unsuccessful, you start creating a better future.
Don’t let the past shape your future.